Episode 57: Jokes

Brian and Melissa are joined by special guests Justin and Charity Tolbert to share their favorite jokes.

Expand for show notes. Spoilers!

Melissa

  1. Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs?
  2. What’s the last thing that goes through a bug’s mind as it hits your windshield?
  3. Instead of “The John”, I call my toilet “The Jim”.
  4. I asked my daughter if she’d seen my newspaper. She told me that newspapers are old school.
  5. Just came home from a training session. Two hours on the treadmill did me really good.
  6. It’s not nice making fun of fat people.
  7. Sure, I drink brake fluid.
  8. A guy was taking his girlfriend to prom. Getting ready, he went to a tux rental shop.
  9. If you understand English, press 1.
  10. How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Brian

  1. My friend keeps saying, “Cheer up man, it could be worse! You could be stuck underground in a hole full of water!”
  2. A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost.
  3. How did the hipster burn his tongue?
  4. What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor?
  5. What do you call it when Batman skips church?
  6. A man walks into a bar and pauses. At the other end of the bar, there's this guy with a big orange head.
  7. Why did the old lady fall in the well?
  8. There are two identical twin brothers that live together. One happens to be a well-respected dentist, and the other can't seem to keep a job.
  9. How is a bicycle similar to a duck?
  10. Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, “Don’t do it!”

Justin

  1. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
  2. Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring.
  3. An elderly couple visits their friends.
  4. An Austrian, a Botswanan…
  5. There are two types of people in the world: those worth mentioning.
  6. Why will a Hindu never tell a “Yo Mama” joke?
  7. I hate it when people get simple stuff wrong.
  8. You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving.
  9. I have four eyes, three noses, two mouths, five arms, and three legs. What am I?
  10. There were three blondes walking on a trail.

Charity

  1. Two dyslexics walk into a bra.
  2. Which way did the programmer go?
  3. What time does Sean Connery get to Wimbledon?
  4. Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a beach.
  5. What is Forrest Gump’s password?
  6. Why did Sally fall off the swing?
  7. Knock Knock. Who’s there. Obama.
  8. How do you drown a submarine full of blondes?
  9. Yo mama so fat when Dracula sucked her blood, he got diabetes.
  10. Yo mama so poor, ducks throw bread at her.

Let us know what you would put on your list! Comment below or email us at tto@koser.us

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