Brian and Melissa are joined by special guests Justin and Charity Tolbert to share their favorite jokes.
Expand for show notes. Spoilers!
- Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs?
- What’s the last thing that goes through a bug’s mind as it hits your windshield?
- Instead of “The John”, I call my toilet “The Jim”.
- I asked my daughter if she’d seen my newspaper. She told me that newspapers are old school.
- Just came home from a training session. Two hours on the treadmill did me really good.
- It’s not nice making fun of fat people.
- Sure, I drink brake fluid.
- A guy was taking his girlfriend to prom. Getting ready, he went to a tux rental shop.
- If you understand English, press 1.
- How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
- My friend keeps saying, “Cheer up man, it could be worse! You could be stuck underground in a hole full of water!”
- A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost.
- How did the hipster burn his tongue?
- What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor?
- What do you call it when Batman skips church?
- A man walks into a bar and pauses. At the other end of the bar, there's this guy with a big orange head.
- Why did the old lady fall in the well?
- There are two identical twin brothers that live together. One happens to be a well-respected dentist, and the other can't seem to keep a job.
- How is a bicycle similar to a duck?
- Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, “Don’t do it!”
- What do you call a fish with no eyes?
- Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring.
- An elderly couple visits their friends.
- An Austrian, a Botswanan…
- There are two types of people in the world: those worth mentioning.
- Why will a Hindu never tell a “Yo Mama” joke?
- I hate it when people get simple stuff wrong.
- You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving.
- I have four eyes, three noses, two mouths, five arms, and three legs. What am I?
- There were three blondes walking on a trail.
- Two dyslexics walk into a bra.
- Which way did the programmer go?
- What time does Sean Connery get to Wimbledon?
- Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a beach.
- What is Forrest Gump’s password?
- Why did Sally fall off the swing?
- Knock Knock. Who’s there. Obama.
- How do you drown a submarine full of blondes?
- Yo mama so fat when Dracula sucked her blood, he got diabetes.
- Yo mama so poor, ducks throw bread at her.
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