Brian

1. Have you gained weight?
2. I told you I loved you at our wedding. If something changes I’ll let you know.
3. Why are you so upset?
4. You’re nothing special.
5. You should ask my mom how to cook.

Melissa

1. Don’t question how she does things in her area of expertise when she’s rushed and you’re just the helper.
2. Don’t make fun of her really dumb idea/answer while with other people.
3. “You look the same as you always do.”
4. “I can’t wait for us to start eating good food again.”
5. “I’d say you’re a beluga whale.”

Aaron

1. It’s not the dress that makes you look fat; it’s your fat that makes you look fat.
2. You’ll get over it.
3. So, what did you do all day?
4. Calling her by her mother’s name.
5. I guess it’s that time of the month, huh?

Rachel

1. Get in the kitchen and make me a sammich.
2. Calm down! You’re just being emotional.
3. Oh! You’re going with the medium?
4. Just wear more makeup.
5. Your elbows are starting to show your age.